Its Saturday morning, 6.54am and we are all awake so I’ve decide to start writing to you.
The above are probably rules for life I would like to try and live by. My plan is to do as many of these a week as I can until I am able to do all of them.
The one I can’t seem to stop doing is 4) complaining. I honestly like a good moan sometimes. OK a lot. It gets it out of my system. I kind of use this blog to counsel myself. (well talk at myself which is a bit narcissistic but hey ho!) I love ‘listen with interest’ – (no 3) honestly how many people actively listen anymore? its an art form thats died. People are so busy. Lives rush by.
I think I try and actively listen at home and at work but I know I don’t always. I also end up giving advice and actually some people don’t want advice! they just want you to LISTEN.
1) Ask for nothing – I wish I could say I don’t ask for anything – but I do. I ask for advice and support and time. I don’t ask for ‘things’ anymore because I can buy my own things nowadays but I’m sure I asked for far too much when I was a kid! Daniel has already started asking for things for christmas…. I guess it helps me… aaahherrrrmmm… father christmas …. plan… but still. I wonder how the millennial generation will cope when they are my age. More worrying I’ll be retired and I’ll be reliant upon them to keep the economy going for my pension. Scary. The generation of ‘whats in it for me’ will be helping others.
I wonder what Daniel’s generation bias will be. I wonder /worry that I’m spoiling him. If he asks for something (nothing big or demanding) but he generally gets it. My husband thinks I spoil him. I know I sort of do. He’s my baby! I don’t have any other children so it stands to reason that he gets most things – there is only him.
6) Teach – I guess thats where work comes in. I lead a team of people ( 11 in total but 4 direct reports) and I hope that I teach them something everyday. I hope that they see the value in some of the things I share with them. I feel collaborative and I hope that they feel I am teaching them everything I know. In order for them to overtake me and do even better. They are all so different but I love them all equally. They all bring something unique. I hope my legacy is to leave them more united and more connected and better at their jobs. Thats all I ask /wish for them. I’m so proud to lead them.
Also ‘teaching’ Daniel – now that’s on ongoing job. Never ending I think! He sometimes says things and I think ‘where on earth did he hear that??’ some things are super scary – he came in to the kitchen and said ‘what the hell is that’ and I honestly could NOT BELIEVE IT. I had a very stern word with him, asked where he’d heard it ‘nowhere’ was the obligatory answer and in the end I just gave up as he got all upset and tearful. I do wonder what influences school kids have on him. But in a week? really?!
This week I’ve had a job offer, a business opportunity presented to me, a chemical burn on my face (more on that later), been sick and had blood tests and the reality of my boy being at school and him being my only child has set in. Lots going on.
But to start, my boy loves school. Thank goodness. I can’t tell you how relieved I am. I kind of knew he’d be OK but seeing him so happy is such a relief. The guilt continues to plague me. Is he OK, is he happy, does he have friends, is he sat alone or is he the centre of things, is he comfortable, is he eating!! A million unanswered questions. I think about him a lot in the day and wonder/worry about him.
This is him in his shorts! its been so hot this week. This was his first full week. He’s so tired. He comes home stroppy every night. I’m hoping he gets used to the routine soon.
However, getting information out of him seems impossible. Literally. We asked him at so many ways what he’s done and how’s his day been and what did he do, but he just says ‘fine’ and ‘good’.
Apart from this morning when we asked him old a girl was in his class (his mum is a nutter and keeps collaring me and dec) -I said, oh she’s tall isn’t she. Daniel said ” oh and her belly is bigger than mine too” I could not stop laughing.
I found this blog -http://www.simplesimonandco.com/2014/08/25-ways-ask-kids-school-today-without-asking-school-today.html
It has all different ways to ask your child about school without saying ‘ how was school today’ which elicits the ‘nothing’ response. So we are trying this! (i’ll let you know how it goes).
I posted this on facebook this week and I truly believe this. After seeing the best and worst in people I believe that confidence is distributed unevenly. I just hope Daniel has enough confidence to be engaged and interactive but enough humility for people to like him and support him.
Finally, my face! watch out.. its a scary picture.
As you can see, it wasn’t pretty. My face was swollen and so sore and so painful! I went to the doctors and they really didn’t know what was wrong. Not ideal. I ended up using E45 and having to take a day off sick and work from home. I couldn’t really leave the house looking like this!
Thankfully this is me back to normal yesterday! so I feel much better (and look much better clearly!).
So the cracks in my foundations are somewhat recovered this week and I’ll carry on regardless.
Have a brilliant week & can’t wait to write to you again next week
Lady C xx